Age is a Stage

Hey! you are forty plus, this is digital age.

What is the connection?

Is anything wrong with my age?

No, it is Gen-X, you mean the generation next; so what do you want to say, there is a massive chasm between yours thought versus mine, and so you mean my generation is gone with the wind.

Yes, the virtual wind is shaping the contours of our real life.

Now, you want to say that the stage is hijacked by you guys.

O! I see, since I’m forty plus, I cease to do things that are to be exclusively done during the twenties only or it is socially hash tagged as unconventional to do things in my forties that I’ve inadvertently missed doing in my twenties.

 

There is a tussle of two titans, the 20’s and the 40’s. The king and the queen, 20’s are to talk like this and 40’s are to act like that…none to relent, both of these numbers have a pretty strong ground to fight for regaining their might and they stand firm on their place to stand out, quite interestingly and quietly intriguing…

 

It is so well said “age is an issue of mind over matter” by Mark Twain, and if we don’t mind it just doesn’t matter to us and then stretching the argument why should it at all matter to others, then why such a big fuss on the factorization of number, it is about the game of number playing without the numerical.

 

Why 40’s is the new 20’s?

Just take the example of Roger Federer at 36 today he is doing exactly what he was doing in his early 20’s. The aggression, the raw energy is now doubly revitalized. The power with passion is in dazzling display.  And the list goes on with Bartolo Colon in baseball, Gordie Howe in ice hockey, Jack Nicklaus in golf to Bernand Lagat in athletes. Defying age they have excelled in the court of white ice to the green court. Aging gracefully and venturing into their twilight of their careers on their own turf. The story of 40’s in entertainment is unending, starting with Jennifer Lopez to Halle Berry to Gwyneth Paltrow to Sandra Bullock is redefining the stage with their age having nothing to do to halt their iconic performances.

When I look back into my twenties, I was exuberant, I was reckless, I was over-confident, I was spendthrift, I was floating here & there and I was flying far & wide. Everything was right, then why those things are wrong now? When I look at today’s generation who are in their twenties, they are no different. They’re working with me and they’re constantly challenging me, they’re fearlessly throwing my ostensibly designed robust arguments into virtual garbage yards, they’re esoterically questioning my treasured assumptions and giving my dogma on age a rage.

“I try to control.”

“I avoid confrontation.”

“I’m confounded.”

This is precisely the case with all of today’s generation and perhaps would have been the scenario before us with all earlier generations. It is just that the digital is the “new distraction”. There is a perceptive shift in the way we look at it in our 40’s, for the 20’s it is an “old attraction”. Interestingly, we have something virtually to hold onto in the web world.

 

It is digital age, age is incidentally inconsequential in the stage of virtual conversations.

 

It is digital age, age is incidentally inconsequential in the stage of virtual conversations. Click To Tweet

 

Why then the debate between the 40’s vs. 20’s is more conspicuous in its presence and why not between the 40’s vs. 60’s or for that matter why not between 30’s vs. 40’s. It seems other pairs have lost the battle while the war on age is still on. It was matter of time, other gave up. This is very much likely to be an eternal deliberations in its essential engagement.

There has been a healthy dissection of 20’s vs. 40’s and the odd continues to be between these two set of even numbers and number that signifies our age and then the question comes what is there in a number. One can very well argue that what is not there in a number, after all everything revolves around the number “ZERO” and India was behind this very number, was the first to be zeroing on it, now imagining what would have happened without the number zero is solely hypothetical. It will otherwise merely trigger an academic debate, devoid of any large audience and getting limited to few scholarly spectators. There will be no “zing and zest”.

The first important leap in the league of our life’s journey largely starts here in our 20’s. It is in our twenties that we complete our education, it is in our twenties that we start our career, it is in our twenties that most of us get happily married, it is in our twenties that we are considered at our productive best, it is in our twenties that most players produce their best performance, it is in our twenties that most actors play one of their best life time role. Twenty is when we become fully independent, we are on our own and we have our own resources to navigate our requirements.

We feel the fizz in the air.

We are game for anything.

The lovely word of “LOVE” builds on this particular phase of our life as we cross the magic figure of twenty and we start picking the nuggets of romance as we close on thirty. But thirty gets oddly squeezed in between and is always in a desperate want of lung space in the “tug of war” between the 20’s and the 40’s.

 

There is something that is so mystically alluring about these two even numbers, and hence we are all oddly attracted to talk on the very tantalizing topic.

 

40 signify the pepper and salt hair, the signs of receding hair-line.

“The bulging hemlines.”

“The obvious pouch.”

“The hidden hunch.”

Though it is not an universal phenomena and I’m no way making a generalized sweeping statement, it is just that majority of us gets squarely labeled in that unhealthy category and I was no exception. I’ve a receding hairline. It is euphemistically attached to growing wisdom. I happily took that tag like all of us do so with a touch of humility. Inside I knew that I did more unlearning than learning. I was wisely told that wisdom comes with learning but I was doing more unlearning than I was actually learning.

I was trapped in the “knowledge paradox”.

We can always do something to recast our bodyline but till yesterdays we were haplessly being a mute onlooker to the hairline without the hair translates and the cost of such hefty transplant treatment was not affordable for lesser mortal like us. The changing time…

 

Why 20’s is the new 40’s?

Coincidentally, there was a mirror image when I started looking at the manifestation of today’s twenties; they’ve a black and white screen on their head, and it is the scale not the direction what is crystal clear on their sun shining head. The hair on their head has taken a beating retreat. The junk foods and the idiot box along with the smart phones have made them seriously hot couch potatoes. Hot, the vulnerable lot, nobody to touch… It would be really unfair on my part to make such direct comparison without putting things in proper perspective.

 

While, this is tending to be largely true, what is fully true is that they are mature, they are risk takers, they are go-getters, they are bubbling with confidence and they don’t fear that we used to have. So, purely looking at the physical structure of the body without giving the psychological construct of the mind its due is unduly unfair.

 

I wanted to do so many things in my twenties which was either not available then or I was not aware of those things that would have made my twenties more exciting and I could have achieved much more than in my life today. So should I regret and handcuff myself, refrain from doing those things.

The inscrutable set of questions, what are those things that I would like to experiment today in my 40’s that I should have done in my 20’s…let’s say starting a new offbeat career, starting a new contemporary hobby, starting a brand new relationship (not to be misconstrued), perhaps changing the very contour of our existing relationships with family and friends, to doing things never done like going for a solo trekking to running a marathon to meeting people who have made a huge difference in other’s life.

Also meeting old friends (the nostalgia) to making new friends (the anticipation)…friendship is such a vital part in the ecosystem of human relationship.

“It needs the gratification.”

Though it is in our 40’s, here at this stage of our age, there is no gender discrimination, majority of us have done the bulk of our job of living a life with responsibility. The responsibilities of having already led a married life for more than a decade, have grown up children, children are more with their friends than with family, as wife it is time for self not only for husband and children to rekindle the dwindling love life and as husband time for self to explore some adventurism in life beyond the family.

It so happens family becomes everything, we stop seeing our world outside the lens of our family. Family is important but life is a bigger canvas…

Take the case of “Creative Artists” who get attracted because of their creative prowess and they quickly fall in love and get married in their twenties, and when they reach forties they have done it, seen it and achieved so much in life, they want a change in life and they see their love life needs a makeover, and many get hooked to new partners. Take the case of both Bollywood to Hollywood there is a fair contest on this ground.

 

Irrespective of gender both “husband and wife” want to do those things that they’ve not done in their 20’s and have now learnt how to do those things differently in their 40’s and also to do new things to break the barrier but they are deceptively playing safe, they keep those aspirations in state of hijacked hibernation. What the other partner will think?

 

This is exactly where we get awkwardly anchored what people will say and how society will interpret such changes. There is a barrier. We are stopped. There are conventions and there are norms in society, and we should respect and we should sincerely attempt to abide by those dotted boundaries. But if we are doing things beyond the boundaries and those are well within the legal framework and then the question of convention is purely a personal prerogative. There is our individuality that gets unceremoniously buried under the heavy weight of “expectations and conventions”.

It is important to distill those distinctions.

For me, it was an incisively critical introspection.

“I had to widely and deeply reflect.”

“I was going through a twisted churn.”

There was a yarn to weave to recognize the new fabric of my life.

Age is just a stage in our life, giving the unwarranted weightage has suddenly shifted the very balance of our life. There is disequilibrium. The poise is punctured. There is a celebratory mood of age during birthdays when we are in and around the 20’s and then the celebration turns to concealment as we swiftly pass the thirties, and enter into our 40’s and there is a gender discrimination on the interpretation of age…

 

Men flaunt their age to depict their maturity and women protect their age to deflect their beauty.

 

Men flaunt their age to depict their maturity and women protect their age to deflect their beauty. Click To Tweet

 

I know I will be constructively scrutinized on this apparently discriminatory statement. I merrily cherish being playfully dissected. It is purely intellectual in its discourse. With such radical change of things around us and age is fast loosing its relevance unless we provide that “age a stage” to blatantly showcase of our growth then we should be ready for taking both the brickbats and the bouquets.

I’m not against the recognition of our birth date. I would love to set the day which is so special but would hate to count the year which is setting the ultimate countdown in our life.

Death is inevitable; then why count the countdown?

I’m sure I am not an exception to this proposition of keeping the year subservient to the date.

 

“It is great to date once again when we are in our 40’s, isn’t it stimulating the very idea of dating”  

 

“It is great to date once again when we are in our 40’s, isn’t it stimulating the very idea of dating” Click To Tweet

 

“All the world’s a stage”, words of master wordsmith William Shakespeare and where we are merely players. Life is a stage and where we are actors, and we should be playing multiple characters and performing different roles, and age should be left to be a mere bystander.

I would like to conclude by stating why give age a pose beyond the stage?

I was fiercely competitive then when I was in my 20’s and I’m profoundly contemplative now when I’m in my 40’s.

 

When we are in our twenties we think we don’t have to care about others, we take things for granted and when we are in our forties we think other’s don’t care about us…we are flummoxed and get virtually caught in real paradox of life.

 

Age it is said some time, that is wrong, it is most of the time is a mere number…that’s period, after all we live only once and then why limit ourselves from doing what we have missed doing in our early age, it becomes a self-imposed exile. Twenty being the most vibrant stage of our age, we attempt to do many things but miss out on so many other things and we look for opportunities, we look for that “special space for self”,  we are deprived off until we reach the forty where again we regain that vibrancy then why not use it to its hilt.

 

Life is too short to get muddled in such numerical debate rather than make the maximum of the power language of living and loving!!!

 

Life is too short to get muddled in such numerical debate rather than make the maximum of the power language of living and loving!!! Click To Tweet

 

The debate on the game of age and stage begins here…it’s not the end.

 


Nihar Pradhan

Lifestyle Blogger

 

 

 

image_courtesy_youtube.com

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Nihar PradhanLifestyleAge,Mark Twain,Matter,Mind,Roger Federer,Stage,William ShakespeareHey! you are forty plus, this is digital age. What is the connection? Is anything wrong with my age? No, it is Gen-X, you mean the generation next; so what do you want to say, there is a massive chasm between yours thought versus mine, and so you mean my generation is...Break the barriers and Make a difference...