Dissecting the Science of ROMANCE – chemistry, physics & biology…
In today’s fast paced world, romance is wrapped in gift and once the gift is unwrapped…the mythological cupid flies away with it’s wings. Love is in the air literally. The love relationships are getting corrupted with bribing of materialistic gifts, giving expensive gift for exchange of love…the agenda of gift is endangering the purity of romance in love. It is spiritual and it is emotional, and it is this internal connection in romance that needs no such external coronation.
Is it in our mind or in our heart?
Romance is a state of mind. Inherently paradox, as in prevalent common parlance romance is associated with heart. In fact this is the heart of the matter.
Romance is satisfaction but romance can be frustration. Romance is attraction but it can also be distraction. Romance could be infatuation. Romance could be anticipation. There are opposite forces working in the state of romance and also there is evaporation and condensation of emotions in this state. Romance is in three states…the initial phase of romance is the liquid state…the fluidity in relationship, as it grows it acquires the solid state of affair…the maturity in relationship, and with passage of time the euphoria evaporates into gaseous matter…romance is practically transient.
Is romance a reality or is it a fantasy?
Though invisible romance is visualized to be a fairy tale, a fantasy so beautiful, an inspiration so aspiring we all want it to be parked in heaven forever. In reality nothing is forever…can romance defy this force of gravity? What is there in romance as a form of expression or emotion that assumes it to be gravity defying force? It can be a physical force as it has a force of attraction. Therein lays the role of physics. Then the quintessential question that needs to be answered is that of whether it is a chemical reaction or a physical attraction.
The fabric of romance is not just about two opposite human beings, than we are tapering our definition and limiting our thinking on romance. Essentially, it defies defined boundaries and break conventional definitions, romance can be with anything and it can be anywhere. An inanimate object can be the vehicle of romance. It could be at dawn witnessing the sunrise or it could be during sunset watching the mesmerizing monument like Taj Mahal…the symbol of ultimate love. We can romance a well written book, an abstract painting, a nicely captured photo, a bouquet of beautiful flowers to a basket of chocolates…it is a mystical engagement of self with something we are passionate about.
It is asked, how is the chemistry in our romance? Are there any chemicals involved or is it just an analogy…that some chemicals produce desired result and others react. Unlike the lab chemistry where we have formulated equations to predict the outcome, in the chemistry of romance doesn’t have formulated equations where every time it is applied the outcome is assured. There is mathematics in every aspects of our life. Till we have the mathematical equation of romance proven, though, it can be assured but cannot be insured.
Is romance is in our chemistry or is it the physics?
Physics involves with the basic forces of nature like time and space, chemistry focuses on the way substances interact with each other and with energy. Knowing the biology of chemistry and physics, romance just cannot be confided to the chemistry as it has certain anchoring to the physics.
Romance can oscillate between the two envoy pendulum of obsession and the passion. There is also an angle of physics in romance…physics is about mechanics and magnetism. The positive and negative forces of magnetic field. Expressing the passion is positive and has a feeling of reinforcement, expressing the obsession is negative and has a feeling of retardation…and there exists a wafer thin wall between the connotation of these two words, playing with words is easy but playing with emotion is treading on perilous lines.
Like everything else, as in every walk of our life, there is good chemistry and there is bad chemistry. But there is definitely chemistry in romance. Romance cannot exist without chemistry, in other words the biology of romance is in its chemistry. Interestingly, it is an intriguingly inter-relationship between the chemistry and the physics of romance. We are not discussing the anatomy of our structure but the atomic reactions involved when there is a fire of romance. Can this chemistry last long or is the chemistry ephemeral in nature?
Is romance static or dynamic in nature?
Romance cannot be dissociated from love, and it is the expression of love. This expression has multiple manifestations, and the degree of expression varies and carries so many connotations and this denotation is intriguing in nature.
Romance is love plus desire. Desire is the yearning and craving for something close to our heart and mind. Though love is an action verb, romance is not an event, it is a process. Romance is not about sarcasm. Romance is not about skepticism. Romance is not about competition. Romance is not about confrontation. Romance is about inspiration. Romance is about aspiration.
Romance reaches its ultimate destination when there is a convergence of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy. It is a fragile equilibrium of these ingredients to produce the right recipe for perfect romance. Unlike the cooking recipe where we can quantify and calibrate the ingredients and control the flames of fire so as to cook well to comply to our taste buds…the recipe of human relationship is so intricate and is made of so many factors it is just humanely impossible to dissect and decide the right course of action in romance.
Does the nature of romance needs nurturing?
Romance grows with time and at the same time romance does diminish with time…this inversely proportional is an inherent incongruity. Time is the determining factor in shaping the journey of romance. It just cannot be left to one’s nature determining the degree of romance; in fact it needs a fair amount of nurturing for the romance to blossom.
Romance is not only about the celebration, it is about appreciation and it is about redemption…it is also about harmony, the commitment and the sacrifice. Nothing comes ease and nothing comes free in this world…though romance is exceptional but not an exception.
The chemicals within our brain react to the external stimuli it gets in terms of sound and sight. Good scenes make us feel good. Good music augments the chemical reaction of romance. Beauty/Music has an innately intense potential to activate our chemicals like dopamine (neurotransmitter of reward/pleasure) and oxytocin (the love/hate hormone).
In fact the reaction can miserably fail if we confront and confuse between passion and possession…possession can back fire while passion can force it forward. Fire is in the chemistry and the force is in the physics…yet, the anatomy of the biology of romance remains a monumental mystery.
Romance is indeed a mystery…in some point in our life we all fall in it and we all come out of it, some easily and some with lot of struggle as it is not eternal. And we keeping pondering and wandering for the rest of our life.
Romance & Me
I have attempted to re-defined the confine of romance, for me romance is beyond the connotation prescribed in lexicon…I romance with self when I am engaged in creative writing, when I am indulged in photography, when I am reading a beautiful book or when I wandering in the wonders of nature…romance is omnipresent and it is all-pervasive. I love the idea of romancing with mystery and creativity…
We all have our take on romance and the diversity of defining romance is what make it such a fascinating topic to dwell and dissect…I am looking forward to your lovely take on romance…
A Happy Valentine Days to all my dear friends…