Dissecting the Science of ROMANCE – chemistry, physics & biology…
In today’s fast paced world, romance is wrapped in gift and once the gift is unwrapped…the mythological cupid flies away with it’s wings. Love is in the air literally. The love relationships are getting corrupted with bribing of materialistic gifts, giving expensive gift for exchange of love…the agenda of gift is endangering the purity of romance in love. It is spiritual and it is emotional, and it is this internal connection in romance that needs no such external coronation.
Is it in our mind or in our heart?
Romance is a state of mind. Inherently paradox, as in prevalent common parlance romance is associated with heart. In fact this is the heart of the matter.
Romance is satisfaction but romance can be frustration. Romance is attraction but it can also be distraction. Romance could be infatuation. Romance could be anticipation. There are opposite forces working in the state of romance and also there is evaporation and condensation of emotions in this state. Romance is in three states…the initial phase of romance is the liquid state…the fluidity in relationship, as it grows it acquires the solid state of affair…the maturity in relationship, and with passage of time the euphoria evaporates into gaseous matter…romance is practically transient.
Is romance a reality or is it a fantasy?
Though invisible romance is visualized to be a fairy tale, a fantasy so beautiful, an inspiration so aspiring we all want it to be parked in heaven forever. In reality nothing is forever…can romance defy this force of gravity? What is there in romance as a form of expression or emotion that assumes it to be gravity defying force? It can be a physical force as it has a force of attraction. Therein lays the role of physics. Then the quintessential question that needs to be answered is that of whether it is a chemical reaction or a physical attraction.
The fabric of romance is not just about two opposite human beings, than we are tapering our definition and limiting our thinking on romance. Essentially, it defies defined boundaries and break conventional definitions, romance can be with anything and it can be anywhere. An inanimate object can be the vehicle of romance. It could be at dawn witnessing the sunrise or it could be during sunset watching the mesmerizing monument like Taj Mahal…the symbol of ultimate love. We can romance a well written book, an abstract painting, a nicely captured photo, a bouquet of beautiful flowers to a basket of chocolates…it is a mystical engagement of self with something we are passionate about.
It is asked, how is the chemistry in our romance? Are there any chemicals involved or is it just an analogy…that some chemicals produce desired result and others react. Unlike the lab chemistry where we have formulated equations to predict the outcome, in the chemistry of romance doesn’t have formulated equations where every time it is applied the outcome is assured. There is mathematics in every aspects of our life. Till we have the mathematical equation of romance proven, though, it can be assured but cannot be insured.
Is romance is in our chemistry or is it the physics?
Physics involves with the basic forces of nature like time and space, chemistry focuses on the way substances interact with each other and with energy. Knowing the biology of chemistry and physics, romance just cannot be confided to the chemistry as it has certain anchoring to the physics.
Romance can oscillate between the two envoy pendulum of obsession and the passion. There is also an angle of physics in romance…physics is about mechanics and magnetism. The positive and negative forces of magnetic field. Expressing the passion is positive and has a feeling of reinforcement, expressing the obsession is negative and has a feeling of retardation…and there exists a wafer thin wall between the connotation of these two words, playing with words is easy but playing with emotion is treading on perilous lines.
Like everything else, as in every walk of our life, there is good chemistry and there is bad chemistry. But there is definitely chemistry in romance. Romance cannot exist without chemistry, in other words the biology of romance is in its chemistry. Interestingly, it is an intriguingly inter-relationship between the chemistry and the physics of romance. We are not discussing the anatomy of our structure but the atomic reactions involved when there is a fire of romance. Can this chemistry last long or is the chemistry ephemeral in nature?
Is romance static or dynamic in nature?
Romance cannot be dissociated from love, and it is the expression of love. This expression has multiple manifestations, and the degree of expression varies and carries so many connotations and this denotation is intriguing in nature.
Romance is love plus desire. Desire is the yearning and craving for something close to our heart and mind. Though love is an action verb, romance is not an event, it is a process. Romance is not about sarcasm. Romance is not about skepticism. Romance is not about competition. Romance is not about confrontation. Romance is about inspiration. Romance is about aspiration.
Romance reaches its ultimate destination when there is a convergence of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy. It is a fragile equilibrium of these ingredients to produce the right recipe for perfect romance. Unlike the cooking recipe where we can quantify and calibrate the ingredients and control the flames of fire so as to cook well to comply to our taste buds…the recipe of human relationship is so intricate and is made of so many factors it is just humanely impossible to dissect and decide the right course of action in romance.
Does the nature of romance needs nurturing?
Romance grows with time and at the same time romance does diminish with time…this inversely proportional is an inherent incongruity. Time is the determining factor in shaping the journey of romance. It just cannot be left to one’s nature determining the degree of romance; in fact it needs a fair amount of nurturing for the romance to blossom.
Romance is not only about the celebration, it is about appreciation and it is about redemption…it is also about harmony, the commitment and the sacrifice. Nothing comes ease and nothing comes free in this world…though romance is exceptional but not an exception.
The chemicals within our brain react to the external stimuli it gets in terms of sound and sight. Good scenes make us feel good. Good music augments the chemical reaction of romance. Beauty/Music has an innately intense potential to activate our chemicals like dopamine (neurotransmitter of reward/pleasure) and oxytocin (the love/hate hormone).
In fact the reaction can miserably fail if we confront and confuse between passion and possession…possession can back fire while passion can force it forward. Fire is in the chemistry and the force is in the physics…yet, the anatomy of the biology of romance remains a monumental mystery.
Romance is indeed a mystery…in some point in our life we all fall in it and we all come out of it, some easily and some with lot of struggle as it is not eternal. And we keeping pondering and wandering for the rest of our life.
Romance & Me
I have attempted to re-defined the confine of romance, for me romance is beyond the connotation prescribed in lexicon…I romance with self when I am engaged in creative writing, when I am indulged in photography, when I am reading a beautiful book or when I wandering in the wonders of nature…romance is omnipresent and it is all-pervasive. I love the idea of romancing with mystery and creativity…
We all have our take on romance and the diversity of defining romance is what make it such a fascinating topic to dwell and dissect…I am looking forward to your lovely take on romance…
A Happy Valentine Days to all my dear friends…
awesome 🙂
Thanks Shahini…
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Looking at the enigma of romance through the magnifying glasses of various facets of scientific thought is a challenging task and you have handled it rather well. Yes, the peace within and the romance with the self in solitude are the right catalyst for creative pursuits in which no external support is necessary. Often, two creative persons can build on to each other’s ideas and come up with a better result! But yes, there is some romance to it. I would describe that process as intellectual copulation!
The power of romance is immense and the definition of romance has broken barriers, and it also it beyond the relationship between tow people…it has so many connotation and manifestation…we unknowingly limit our horizon of thinking and feeling on romance…it is indeed an enigma, little strange to look through the prism of science.
Yes, the process could well be described as intellectual copulation…
My dear Nihar.. I so thank you for defining so many aspects of Romance.. It indeed has many faces and most of us have held our romantic notions upon the feelings within us as we encounter the many emotions romance is associated with.
I particularly liked this sentence Nihar..
“Romance reaches its ultimate destination when there is a convergence of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy.”,,
Romance can evoke many of these convergences, including the opposites too. As I grew up in a family atmosphere of jealousies..
I guess I am a romantic at heart.. Always looking for the silver lining and the happy ever after ending to a story 🙂
A wonderful insightful read… and so many angles in which to view romance.. Thank you.. I hope you too have a Romantic weekend.. Happy Valentines Day Nihar..
Blessings Sue
Yes, Sue…It is such a special feeling in our life, it take so many different shape as we grow in our life…romance can be with anything, and why allow such a lovely feeling to get extended and attached to different aspects of our life, bring joy and pleasure in other walks of life…
You are right majority of us romantic at heart but situations and conditions have changed the way we interpret and express it…we are forced to suppress our feeings, as circumstances don’t allow it.
Our family and the surrounding significantly contributes towards the way we look at it and embrace it…if we are fortunate to grow up in a family full of love, it just rubs on us and we subconsciously keep building on those experiences and learning…
You too have a great weekend and wonderful Valentines Day…
With Joy Nihar…
I need silence and space to finish reading this…would come back to tell you how I felt.
You are right, there are some subjects which we need solitude to put our full mind into work and understand and appreciate the way we deeply feel about it…
Looking forward to your perspective…
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I think romance can be intentional. You begin with a conscious intention that leads into the real thing.
It is a special feeling, you are right it can be intentional and may be very subtle and with time and engagement it grows from intangible to very tangible aspect of life…
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I love that you used the Taj Mahal to illustrate your post on romance. The Taj Mahal: the Taj Mahal of romantic gestures.
It is indeed, if you have visited it, you can imagine the intensity and majesty of such monument. It radiates the intense power of love and makes you awe struck in its presence…essence and extension of the power of love and its manifestation…
Hope you have visited it…
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Regretfully no, I’ve never been. I would love to visit especially the Taj Mahal and some bangle bazaars.
You must whenever you get time, I am sure you will fall in love…it is such a mesmerizing structure, it takes time and power of thought to visualize and assimilate the essence of force behind the monument…
Bangle Bazaars, yes are craftily beautiful, there are many lovely places around Charminar in Hyderabad…
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Romance is a homogeneous mixture of a plethora of feelings…..they may differ in nature, but they assume a uniform colour when mixed together… 🙂
It is difficult to encapsulate and measure the essence of love and romance, it is so subtle and intangible, it needs a different state of mind to sense and appreciate its innate and profound power…the power to move one out of slumber and slackness…
A great feeling to be in…yes, they assume a mixed color when mixed together, it is all about the togetherness of thoughts and feelings…
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You outdid yourself on this one. Absolutely marvelous.
It is such a lovely topic, perhaps it is close to everybody’s heart, only that we restrict ourselves from expressing it…the inspiration for and from romance is magical and we all have experienced in sometime and we look to experience with many things we face in our life, romance has broader connotation and bigger value than we generally perceive or confine it to…
Thanks so much for your wonderful comment…
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Reblogged this on Speculations Impressed and commented:
I would have wanted to reblog this no matter what day it is. However, with it being Valentine’s Day, it certainly is appropriate.
Thanks so much and it just multiples the inspiration when you get such beautiful comments from lovely friends like you…
Happy Valentine day…
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Wow very nice post
Thanks so much Natasha…great that you liked the post…
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Hi Nihar,
Romance is quite different from love and the symbolic picture you have chosen illustrates it so well. I wouldn’t call it a symbol of romance, which may be the beginning of love but not the end. All those moments of romance are not always followed by love. I think romance is just a honeymoon…short and sweet! Love is a much profound emotion, which has to be nurtured slowly, which may lead us to the unimaginable vistas.
The Taj symbolizes eternal love, it has inspired people all around the world to actually discern the ultimate…the inexplicable emotion.
It is actually love, not romance which leads us to the “convergence of emotional and spiritual intimacy.” I hope my interpretation would inspire some more thinking.
Thanks for provoking my thoughts, which may lack chemistry and physics but have evolved with age.
Yes, you are right and romance is different from love but the two have such integral connection that it becomes difficult to differentiate…these are manifestations of emotions and these are deeply felt and are so deep it drives us within and keep us going…
Love is much profound and these emotions get expressed through the power of romance…and the expression has so many ways, and we keep experimenting.
Indeed, Taj symbolizes eternal love…the love which has moved people for ages and such is its power that we all get inspired every time we look at it…
Romance is not limited to two people, it is beyond and romance can with anything and it can just an extension of our passion…
You are right chemistry and physics may not exist but it can develop with age…age defying emotion.
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Nihar this is a most thought provoking post. I definitely agree that romance requires nurturing over the years. One can not expect the roses, no matter how beautiful, to grow without water.
What a lovely analogy…no matter how beautiful the red rose which we keep giving needs time to nurture…so does romance which is not an instant phenomena…
Nice post 🙂 K
Glad you liked it. Thanks Kamila for visiting the blog.
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Thanks for the lovely photo of Taj Mahal. It is exceptional, bringing out the delicate beauty of it.
Such is the beauty of the monument, any angle and any time you capture…the majesty of the monument manifests is such beauty…
It is indeed mesmerizing…
This is a very interesting post on romance and the science behind it all. I love the questions you posed. “mystical engagement of self with something we are passionate about.” That is something I agree with. It’s more than physical attraction, but also emotional and mental stability and attraction that causes romance to manifest. Romance certainly needs time to blossom…but sometimes time isn’t romance’s best friend since we all know that romance can fade after a while. Then again, that may be infatuation as opposed to romance.
Love how you ended with an ode to romancing ourselves. So often when we think of romance, we think of romancing others. However, only when we love ourselves can we truly know what love and romance is – and only then we will have love and romance to give.
Yes, Mabel you are right romance is an emotion which can grow or fade with time, this reflect the true intensity and real depth in feelings, so time becomes the biggest test…though it is natural with time it declines but the extent of it that remains is vital to the sustenance in any good relationship…
Yes, unless we love self, we cannot love others or romance with things that is around us…though romance is an emotional state, but there is this science of chemistry that governs this feelings to mature and has to be nurtured to blossom.
The balance is equally important in love and romance, as it has the tendency to go off track…we need to maintain the equilibrium.
Time is certainly the biggest test of romance. Romance goes through ups and downs. It can build up, feel strong and natural and then feels like it has disappeared out of the blue, like we’ve lost it. And in these times it’s when we have to work very hard at fostering romance and keeping it on our side.
Very true Mabel, time is best healer for most of the problems in our life. Romance is such a special feeling, it is delicate, it is subtle and it needs the effort to nurture and grow…as it has the danger of loosing it flare with time.
Again it is an art of revive the dwindling feelings which is subjected to so much of external challenges…
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Time is the best medicine for pretty much everything 🙂 The beauty of romance is that you don’t really know when it will hit, and when it will escape us, whether for a bit or for a longer time. Best to revel in it, but not take it for granted.
Yes, it needs to be handled with care and requires efforts to nurture and build…and it strange and unpredictable which can affect our ability to face it when it goes away. As it is exciting when it comes and equally dampening when it suddenly disappears…
Wow Nihar, I really admire the time and effort you make to write a single blog post. It takes a lot to be able to write something as detailedly dissected as this blog post, which is actually an article. Great job!
Rosanna, on the other hand I really admire your ability to post almost everyday, how you manage to get so many ideas and able to organize the thoughts with such precision…
Since I have less time to write, I try to utilize whenever I get time to put my thoughts into words, and thinking in peace is another challenge…
You have a wonderful way to present and encapsulate your thought and I like the way you present it…
Thanks so much Rosanna…
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“Romance is satisfaction but romance can be frustrating.”
Sometimes things don’t happen in the way we wanted. And we can force nobody to love us. So we do our best. But there isn’t always enough.
Taj Mahal is a symbol of romance?
Romance is such a wonderful feeling, but it is mystical in nature and we don’t have control over it. But at the same time it needs time to mature and thoughts to nurture the special feeling…it cannot stand by itself.
Also is beyond two individuals, we can romance with anything we are passionate about…
No doubt, the mesmerizing impact of Taj, seen to be believed…
I hope one day I’ll visit the Taj Mahal 😀
Any relationship needs to mature, it takes time. But it’s important to keep the romance 😀
I am sure you will definitely visit one day and I look forward to hear your experience…Time is the best medicine for most of things in life and true, especially relationship is no exception…yes, we need keep the romance intact…
Reading about Taj Mahal will always keep one inspired and when one get the opportunity to see it it is indeed mesmerizing…
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you write so well… and my favorite part was this:
” I love the idea of romancing with mystery and creativity…”
well said –
have a nice day
Indeed it is little strange to be romancing with mystery and creativity, I think therein lies the essence of romance…if everything is evident and predictable than the romance may loose its latent potency.
Thank you so much for sharing such lovely words…
You too have a great week ahead…
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Interesting thought..personally I am lost..maybe it is chemistry but as well as physics..one thing I know, some people could act irrationally because of romance 🙂
Yes, you are right Indah, romance is an enigma of emotions…not always it is easy to spot and decipher the pattern…it is unpredictable and it is complex. Rationality is something doesn’t always goes well with romance…though I have made attempt to look through the lens of science but in actuality the mysticism cannot be confined in the boundaries of science.
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Thank you for popping by my blog and liking my post. I dropped in to see you. Your voice makes me smile. Great questions about romance. Insightful full of deep consideration. I look forward to visiting with you again. Kind regards Cheryle
You have a lovely blog and I am enjoying it…
When we take it for granted and romance is lost…it needs efforts and nurturing to build on it as it is a journey not an event…and we can have romance with anything we are passionate about from writing to travelling to painting…that is something very unique and makes us more satisfying in our journey of life…
Thanks Cheryle so much for visiting and sharing your lovely perspective…
Really interesting thoughts and well chosen words!!
Thanks so much for sparing your time and sharing your lovely words. It does matter.
The power of exchange of thoughts and meaningful engagement is the essence of the platform we are so privileged to use…
Have a great weekend…
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That’s right! Thank you 🙂 Have that also!
My pleasure…
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I have visited the Taj Mahal & chose the late afternoon, with advice from friends. After much walking around, exploring with guidebook in hand, I sat looking at it for over an hour, in wonder, as the sun began it’s setting. I asked myself what did Mumtaz Mahal have, over/with Shah Jahan that his other wives didn’t? If she hadn’t died after the birth of her 14th child, would they have had more? Was it physical chemistry or mental attraction/connection? Maybe it was a combination. Is that what is called Romance? *sigh* beats me. Your description/evaluation of Romance has reignited that Question to which I’m still seeking an answer. 🙂
At the outset thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful perspective on Romance and particularly so on Taj Mahal…
Indeed, it is difficult to describe what was so special in Mumtaz that inspired beyond imagination for Shah Jahan to built such marvel out of marbles…it is majesty par excellence, it cannot be just excellence and has to be the power of romance that can drive one for such creation.
Yes, the evening with the setting sun, the backdrop makes it perfect and every moment makes us linger for more, it is mesmerizing to visualize that signifies the symbol of love …
There are so many facets to romance that we experience and expand it’s definition with time…and it is always special emotion that needs nurturing to keep it growing…
Have a nice a week ahead.
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On the lighter side, I love watching Bollywood romance movies. You put Hrithik Roshan & Priyanka Chopra together & romance just has to happen, it just has to!! 😀
O! that’s great you have good knowledge on Bollywood…our movies are lots of song, romance and dance…we all love those nice cozy romantic songs and dancing around in exotic places…
Looking forward to hear more of your experiences and connection on India…I hope you had a great time when you were in India…
Great connecting with you…
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If love is the instinct, romance is the craft…
Very well said; we are now-a-days missing the craft. Though love is always in the air, we have little time to nurture and change our nature for this special craft…
Thanks so much for visiting and sharing a quick perspective…
It’s a privilege to be here, Nihan. I admire your words.
My pleasure…it’s been great connecting with you and looking forward to more engaging discussion…
Have a great week ahead!!!